The Journey

I am not a fan of New Year's. I don't see the point in it. The only thing that I enjoyed is flipping to Dick Clark's Rockin' Eve and he retired. I also don't get the resolutions. Why is it that people make all of these resolutions and no one EVER follows through? I don't think I've ever made one because I know that I'll procrastinate and never do it. People make resolutions only around this time of the year. I really don't get it. What about the OTHER 364 days? Each and every day that we wake up is a chance to begin again. Why wait until New Year's to say, "I will do this," or "This year I am not going to do this." If you mess up, it is not the end of the world. You don't have to wait next year or next month or even next week to change something about yourself. You have the power to change now. Hal Borland said Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can

WOW! The last few months have been a blur. Thus, my reason for not writing. I simply haven't had the time. So just to catch you up: In September, I started the Fall 2011 semester, moved to a new apartment (same building just different floor), got a new job,  and went to a wedding. In October, I was working my new job and helping out my old job because it was busy and I didn't want to leave them stranded (yeah, i know I am too nice - but that's me), all while trying to handle three classes. In November, aside from school, work, and Thanksgiving I decided that my life needed more action so I got into a little accident. Yep, I'm brilliant, what can I say? LOL So needless to say I haven't had much time for writing. Since, the year is almost through, I began reflecting on 2011. I must say this has been a tough year. I can't say it has been a good year, there have been moments that have been good, but nothing spectacular. My family lost someone special back in Mar

It was the longest drive home tonight. This semester has been the toughest in my academic career. It's weird though. Even with the death of my nephew and as hard as that has been, this semester,academically, has been twice as hard. If that is possible. Last semester, I was on top of my game. I had straight A's, made the Dean's List, and had an article published. This one, I am struggling and I feel like I am barely keeping my head above water. I will be happy to just pass these classes. Sometimes we question ourselves. We wonder if what we are doing is the right thing. When we make a decision in our lives that decision can have a lasting effect on us. I have no doubt that I should be here going to school. However, I didn't anticipate being here for four years. I didn't anticipate it being this hard. And I certainly didn't anticipate how I would feel in the process. The title of my blog is called, The Journey. It's not about the destination, but the journ

It's funny. When I chose to take a movie history class I didn't expect to be challenged the way I have been. We are only half way through the semester and I thoroughly enjoy this class. My professor, Dr. O, is a great teacher that really makes me think. Of course this class is about movies, but I guess I see it in a much different light. Last week, he gave us a quote from a former teacher of his: "If you are satisfied with this, then you will never amount to anything." WHOA! Pretty deep for movie class. However, that statement struck me like a ton of bricks. We should never be satisfied with ourselves or our lives. We should always be striving to make ourselves better. Whether it be going back to school, committing to be healthy, volunteering, or striving to be a better parent or spouse. There is absolutely no reason to stay in the exact same place for the rest of your life doing the same exact thing. If you are, then my speculation is that you are not happy or sa

Have you ever seen the movie "Julie and Julia?"  Julie decides to cook everything in Julia Childs' cookbook and blog (or blob as my mom says) about it. When she is about half way through she has to cook something that was the toughest thing to cook. She attemped this reciepe many times and failing. I remember the one failed attempt resulted in her on her kitchen floor balling her eyes out in a complete meltdown. Funny as it was, recently I had my own meltdown. I will admit, living on my own is tough; it's tougher when your college fails to process your loan application so you don't have any money to pay any of your bills. Before that, I went to the leasing office to ask to check my old mailbox in which I was certain that my school check was in. After they initially told me "no," I preceded to get in my car and cry like a baby. Believe me I am just as shocked as you are. I have not shed one tear since my nephew passed away back in March of this year. I

So today I had the pleasure of killing three spiders. Just to fill you in, I HATE spiders. They are creepy and they totally freak me out. These were not your normal run of the mill spiders. No, they were huge brown striped spiders. Two of them took over my balcony, and the third spider, I believe, made a nice little nest to lay eggs. Needless to say, I called my mom in a panic. I kept thinking, "I need a man!" My dad, my brothers, or a boyfriend I don't care just someone ELSE to take care of this problem. The only male in my household is my cat Starbucks and he probably would sniff it and then played with it. Alas, my mom said to grab something with bleach and I got my Mr. Clean bathroom cleaner until I realized that earlier this year I bought a bug barrier spray from Raid.  I was spraying those suckers and drenching my new patio furniture and they didn't seem the least bit phased. Of course, they left and havent returned. THANK GOD! Who or what in your life has i

Well, I have officially been living in Baltimore for four years. I am surprised and happy that I have made it this far. To be honest, I didn't think I would be here this long. I really thought I would have quit by now or maybe would have graduated. It's a good thing that I don't rely on my feelings or emotions or I would have left a long time ago. I admit, it hasn't been rainbows and daisies living here. I have struggled greatly. I remember for about the first six months I cried almost every day. I knew God brought me here, but I didn't necessarily want to be here. Then, I thought I could rush through school by taking a ton of classes at one time all while working. I was really hurting myself there because you cannot rush God's plan for your life. Believe me - I've tried. You also cannot learn a completely new language in less than two years. That took me about 2 years to figure out. Even with all of the stuggles and disappointment in myself, it hasn'

On Saturday, August 28, 2011, I spent most of the day working and watching the weather map on weather.com waiting for the dreaded Irene to get here. I kept a vigilant eye on the radar map and the big green circular blob going up the coast. A Hurricane typically brings strong winds, rain, and causes tons of damage. Once the hurricane is gone, we are left with the task of cleaning the destruction it left behind. As a result, I began to ponder how many if us cause our own hurricane. This life can present itself with many challenges, but my question is how many of those challenges are self inflicted? What decisions, actions, and attitudes cause a hurricane in our life? Our choices today determines what we do tomorrow.  So if your life stinks right now, blaming other people, places, or things isn't the best way to solve your problem. Complaining and having a bad attitude just makes everything seem worse. Take charge of your life by owning up to your mistakes, learning from it and mo

I was coming into my apartment building and the Blood Bank posted something on the bulletin board. Obviously, it was about donating blood, but the tag line was, "Do something Extraordinary." It really caught my attention and I began to think about how many of us do something extraordinary or at the very least something for someone else? In this fast pace, ditigal, instant drive through kind of world it is SO easy to forget about those who are less fortunate and those who just need a friend. We get caught up in our own day to day life and neglect to be caring about others. It's kind of sad if you really think about it. As a society and as people we should really keep an open mind and heart for those who are hurting and not just those people we know or are related to. It's about time that we stop acting like spoiled little selfish children and get out there and do something. Make life worth living. Better yet, make someone's day. However, it is easy to say, but

Picture it; It's 1955 and five men go deep into the jungles of Ecuador to witness to a tribe who attacked any outsiders that came near. Believing fully that God sent them there, having the eagerness and the confidence that they can earn the trust of the Waorani tribe. However, all five men were attacked and killed. Many years later the wife of one of the men wrote a book, "Through the Gates of Splendor" and eventually the tribe gave their heart to God. So, why would God send those young men who had wives and children to a jungle where the chances of them being murdered was greater than staying in America? The book, "Through the Gates of Splendor" says there is no answer. Even 50 years later. Even in times of desparation and immense pain the families of these young men still witnessed to the Waorani tribe and believed that God had a plan. How can this be God's plan? It's hard and sometimes impossible to comprehend but God can take any tragedy and turn

Have you ever seen that show Wipeout? That show is funny. My mom would say it is dumb, but it's hard not to laugh at these people going through the different obstacle courses.  The contestants have multiple chances to go through the obstacles and try to beat out their opponents to be the winner. I got thinking about life and how many times we may wipeout before we get things right. Some things come easy for us and some things take time. Thankfully, life isn't like Wipeout. There are no competitions or timers to try to beat others to the finish. Life is a process and just because we mess up on certain points doesn't mean we will get disqualified or that someone else will win. When I moved here, I thought 2 years. Get in, get out and move back to Crisfield. LOL Yeah, right. 4 years later and I am still here. There have been a lot of bumpy roads and many stumbling blocks. I am so glad I didn't give up, even though I wanted to so many times. I came close to calling it

So today I was on my way to work and this song came on called, "Life" by Bekah Shae. The song is very encouraging. It talks about ignoring the negative and finding the positive. Put your love glasses on! Life is what you preceive it to be. If all you are is negative and all you concentrate on are the things that aren't working in your life, then your life is going to be negative and it will impact your attitude, your emotions, and your outlook on life. If your put your love glasses on and instead concentrate on all the things that is good in your life, and begin to think positively about yourself and the life around you then you will have a better outlook on life. Did you know that you are DESTINED to have a rich life? I am holding on to that. Even if I don't have any earthly riches, that's OK because I am rich in love, in family and friends. And one day when I get to Heaven, I will have a Mansion and it will better than I ever imagined. The chorus says, I’m goi

So, a couple of days ago I needed to sew a pair of pants that had a popped seam. Let me just say, I am NOT the domestic type. I would rather pay to have some stuff done than to do it myself. However, I really wanted to wear these pants so I decided to sew them. It took me every bit of 30 minutes to thread the needle. I was getting really frustrated, but I kept at it and finally I did it and was able to sew my pants. It got me thinking. How many of us give up on things when they become too hard or because you get frustrated? I am guilty of this. Like I said, i would rather pay someone to do something for me than to do it myself. Why? Well, if it looks too hard or I discover how frustrating it is when what I'm doing doesn't come easily to me, I just give up. When we give up, where does that leave us? Nothing gets accomplished. Just because something is hard or causes us a little irritation doesn't mean we should give up. If people gave up on tasks that were too difficult,

Verb - from the Latin verbum meaning word , is a word ( part of speech ) that in syntax conveys an action ( bring , read , walk , run , learn ), or a state of being ( be , exist , stand ). A verb has two meanings; One, it is an action and two, it is a state of being. I don't think it is enough to just "be" or "exist," you need to be in action and take action in your life. A few posts ago I stated that when I turned 18, I thought my life would take me places. Well, you can't go anywhere in life if you don't take action. I spent most of my 20's waiting for my life to start. Silly me, life doesn't wait for you. Time goes by so fast and we only have one life to make a difference. You need to be a verb and take action in all you do. It isn't enough to think about a change or to wish for things to be different, you have to DO something. You have the power within yourself to be all that you have ever hoped or even dared to dream. Thomas Jef

I was thinking about skipping a post tonight because I couldn't really think of anything to talk about. My life and stories usually become more interesting when school starts. Since it's still summer, things tend to slow down. However, I thought of something that I think is a good topic. I was listening to the radio on my way home today and their topic was about things that you have experienced that was totally amazing. Many callers told about things that was simply amazing, but one story in particular stuck out to me. A mother called and was talking about her daughter who is legally blind and she played softball from about 5 years old until this year at 12 and this coming school year she plans to join the track team. The radio personality asked, "How does she do that?" The mother replied, "I honestly don't know. When she decides to do something, she does it. Nothing stops her." Of course by now, my eyes were welling up and I was thinking that's am

I think some people think it may be too late for them to make a change that will make their lives better. Or, they are afraid of what that change will make them realize about themselves. Change doesn't always have to be a bad thing; it can actually be quite refreshing. It doesn't matter what things you may have done in the past. You may have regrets, but those regrets do not have to dictate your future. I know that it is easier said than done, but it isn't impossible. Every day is a new day to start over. It is a chance for you to wake up and say, "Hey, I will do______ this today." Or, "Hey, I am making a decision right here, right now not to do___________." Do you realize that you do have a choice to decide that you can have a great life? Do you realize that the more you let your past regrets control you the less you will be happy? Happiness is a choice, not a feeling. Will everyday be like cupcakes and rainbows? No. However, how you deal with life

I see now why so many newly graduated high school students go away for college. It really is a chance to find yourself. It's a chance to experience things you would never experience in your own comfort zone. I think God knew that. No matter how much I fought moving here, it really was the best thing for me. I lived near two universities and a community college, and of course none of them offered anything ASL related other than a couple of classes. I think God wanted me out of my comfort zone, out of everything familiar to show me life beyond the Eastern Shore. I absolutely LOVE the Eastern Shore, and there is no better feeling than when I cross that Bay Bridge. I probably would not have moved unless God had intervened and specifically said, "Go to Baltimore." Which is essentially what happened. I wasn't happy with where I was in life, and God knew that. I have learned a lot being on my own. There are some things that I wish I wouldn't have to experience, such as

Now that you know how got here to Baltimore, I will say a little about my life as a college student. Being a student in my 30's has it's own challenges. For instance, due to the economy and always having to wait for my student loans, I decided to look for some scholarships this semester. Yeah, right. Unless you are 18, finding scholarships is practically impossible. Thus, my reasons for always doing the student loans. When I decided to go to college, I absolutely had to not think in terms of how much I owe or will owe when I graduate. If you are thinking about going to school or going back to school, make short term goals.  It was mandatory that I took this class that helps new students adjust to being in college. I thought this was a dumb class for me because I was 27 and I had life experience, work experience, and I thought I knew about time management. Well, it turns out that I did learn something. I learned that it is important to make short term, mid term and long term g

Moving here has presented itself with many challenges. When I first moved here I lived in an old farm house that had been converted to apartments. The rent was cheap and I knew the owners. The majority of the time there I lived on the Third floor... that's two (2) flights of stairs. Everything about that apartment was a challenge. Taking groceries in, carrying my school books or practically anything felt like climbing Mt. Everest. Speaking of groceries, I remember one time I had gone to the grocery store and I bought some milk. That milk was in a standard plastic grocery bag. I had other stuff too, but my goal was to get all my stuff up two flights of stairs in one trip. As I was half way up the first set of stairs that wonderfully made plastic grocery bag broke. No it wasn't the bread or anything in a box, it was the milk. There was a huge mess and I had to race up to my apartment and grab all of the paper towels I could find to clean up the white liquid that had covered the f

Like I said before, I grew up in a small town. However, that didn't mean that I didn't have big dreams for myself. I am a self proclaimed daydreamer. Which probably explains a lot of my procrastination tendoncies. All throughout elementary and high school I would just daydream. Daydream about graduation, going to college (I liked the idea of college, but not the work), getting married, having a family, etc. I couldn't wait to grow up and start my life. I thought when I turned 18 my life was going to take me places, but I quickly found out it didn't. As much as I loved Crisfield, the town wasn't exactly abounding in job opportunities. I tried college for two whole semesters in 2000, but I wasn't exactly "college material" at the time. I was young, nieve, and wasn't ready to commit to a career in higher education. Fast forward to 2006-2007, I was totally miserable. I was experiencing burn out of the utmost proportions. I was working with kids what

Hello people out there in cyber space! It's just me, another internet junkie. I recently decided to take a stab at blogging. I thought it would be nice, mostly for myself, to track my progress in life's journey. I am a 30 year old college student who works full time, goes to school at night, takes care of two precocious cats and tries to visit my hometown as often as possible. I think of myself as someone who is a late bloomer. I didn't go to college after high school because I thought it was a waste of money - and I couldn't afford it. However, in this day and age a degree is pretty much mandatory to get a good paying job. I grew up in a small town of about 2,800 people and I love it there. I hear many people say how much they hate it, how they can't wait to get out, or there's way too much drama. I chuckle at that because I never really thought about Crisfield that way. I always viewed it as a close-knit community full of hard working people, a town that has