Past and Present
My mind is flooded with memories. Memories of a different time, a different life. It seems almost like yesterday that I saw you, hugged you, spent time with you. Then I remember it is a memory and it is but a moment in time. You can't waste your life and the time that is given to you because it is only for a moment and it can be taken away just as quickly as when it were given to you. Tomorrow marks the second anniversary that my family lost another young life. It is true that in my family one does not need to be an octagenarian to leave this world. We have lost too many people we hold so dear to our hearts.
They say, "Time heals all wounds." I don't know if that is really true. For me, the pain of losing someone is just as real today as it was two tears ago when Chris died, just as real in 1992 when my cousin Joey died, when my niece died in 1988, and my list could go on. I think "time" forces you to move forward. You have to keep going. There is no pause button, no rewind, and no record. You have only the moments in your mind, but they are only a moment. The pictures on display remind you of only what is no longer here in the present. You find a way to live without them being present. As hard as it is, it becomes a reality. The human race can be resilient. We can learn to adjust to anything, but sometimes we allow ourselves to become obsessed with the, "What if."
I admit, the first year after Chris' death, I became obsessed with the number 9 in every month. Apri 9 was one month, July 9 was three months, December 9 was nine months until I reached one full year. I think I was trying to convince myself that it didn't happen and I was just dreaming. In the five stages of grief, I continuously stayed at the denial stage. I heard what everyone was saying, I was there at the funeral, yet I had no emothions. I just wouldn't believe it. Fast forward two years later, while I have come to terms to what has happened, I still have moments when my mind refuses to believe it happened.
Losing someone is hard, there is no doubt about that. However, 10% is what happens to us in life and 90% is how we deal with it. Everyone processes situations both good an bad differently, but you do not have to let it consume your thoughts, emotions, and actions. You can choose, how you are going to handle it. I'm not saying it is easy, but it can be done.
I don't want this to be a sad post. I want to remember those I have loved and lost and smile not cry. Out of all the moments, I want to remember the laughter, the hugs, and moments that made my life sweeter because they were in it. I don't know what you are going through in your life. However, I hope you know that you are loved more than you will ever know by a God whose love for you never fails or changes. This life is not easy. Whether it is your husband, the kids, your inlaws, your job, traffic, or whatever else ails you, choose to see the good and not the bad. Be thankful for the moments you have with your husband, the kids, the inlaws, and traffic... well, maybe not traffic.
If you think there isn't any good - look again until you find it. Cherish the moments with your family and friends. Enjoy your life! You only have one to live. Find a way to honor those you love without being bitter or depressed. I will remember those I love so much, but I will not allow what has happened to define, control, or keep me in a dark place.
No matter where life or God takes me, my family and friends will always be with me - in my heart and mind. I will remember to smile when I think of them and not be sad thay they aren't here. You have the power to choose how you are going to react. You can choose your attitude. You can choose to be happy no matter what is going on. So choose right now, to be the best person you can be and live your life to the very best of your ability. Life is what you make it, so make it a good one.
They say, "Time heals all wounds." I don't know if that is really true. For me, the pain of losing someone is just as real today as it was two tears ago when Chris died, just as real in 1992 when my cousin Joey died, when my niece died in 1988, and my list could go on. I think "time" forces you to move forward. You have to keep going. There is no pause button, no rewind, and no record. You have only the moments in your mind, but they are only a moment. The pictures on display remind you of only what is no longer here in the present. You find a way to live without them being present. As hard as it is, it becomes a reality. The human race can be resilient. We can learn to adjust to anything, but sometimes we allow ourselves to become obsessed with the, "What if."
I admit, the first year after Chris' death, I became obsessed with the number 9 in every month. Apri 9 was one month, July 9 was three months, December 9 was nine months until I reached one full year. I think I was trying to convince myself that it didn't happen and I was just dreaming. In the five stages of grief, I continuously stayed at the denial stage. I heard what everyone was saying, I was there at the funeral, yet I had no emothions. I just wouldn't believe it. Fast forward two years later, while I have come to terms to what has happened, I still have moments when my mind refuses to believe it happened.
Losing someone is hard, there is no doubt about that. However, 10% is what happens to us in life and 90% is how we deal with it. Everyone processes situations both good an bad differently, but you do not have to let it consume your thoughts, emotions, and actions. You can choose, how you are going to handle it. I'm not saying it is easy, but it can be done.
I don't want this to be a sad post. I want to remember those I have loved and lost and smile not cry. Out of all the moments, I want to remember the laughter, the hugs, and moments that made my life sweeter because they were in it. I don't know what you are going through in your life. However, I hope you know that you are loved more than you will ever know by a God whose love for you never fails or changes. This life is not easy. Whether it is your husband, the kids, your inlaws, your job, traffic, or whatever else ails you, choose to see the good and not the bad. Be thankful for the moments you have with your husband, the kids, the inlaws, and traffic... well, maybe not traffic.
If you think there isn't any good - look again until you find it. Cherish the moments with your family and friends. Enjoy your life! You only have one to live. Find a way to honor those you love without being bitter or depressed. I will remember those I love so much, but I will not allow what has happened to define, control, or keep me in a dark place.
No matter where life or God takes me, my family and friends will always be with me - in my heart and mind. I will remember to smile when I think of them and not be sad thay they aren't here. You have the power to choose how you are going to react. You can choose your attitude. You can choose to be happy no matter what is going on. So choose right now, to be the best person you can be and live your life to the very best of your ability. Life is what you make it, so make it a good one.
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