The Journey

So it’s been quite a while since I have felt like writing anything on here. In fact, I had forgotten all about this blog I created. I guess life gets busy and in some ways people change and move on. It’s not often I experience bouts of loneliness or sadness. I’m generally a happy, positive person and I always, to the best of my ability, see the good in everything. I believe everything happens for a reason. The way we handle choices, circumstances, and life’s heartaches tells a lot about who we are as a person. Today, I felt incredibly lonely. To give you a little perspective, I am one of only a couple people in my circle of friends still single. My friends are married, have kids and they are great parents and spouses. I am extremely understanding, knowing that family comes before friends. I am truly happy that they have this wonderful, crazy life with love and laughter. I know it’s not perfect by any means, I know there’s moments of sadness, pain, frustration, and exhaustion. Howeve...

Around this time eight years ago, I was in a rut and miserable. I was never an academic person. I hated to study, read and take tests. I was never athletic, though in high school I did love a rousing game of kick ball. I guess I was the definition of a carefree flower blowing in the wind. Whatever I woke up and thought to do that day is what I did. I didn't like to make too many plans or do anything complicated. I definitely liked a simple life. I had my friends, my family, I lived near the water and I didn't think too much about the future. When I moved to Baltimore, I had no idea how hard it would be to live on my own. I had no idea that learning this new language while working full time would be so stressful, frustrating, and rewarding. For the first time I was pushing myself to do things I never thought I could. I never thought I would go to college much less graduate. I met some great friends along the way who have made me miss Crisfield less, enjoy class more, learn and...

After listening to the radio and what the DJ was going to do for her birthday, it inspired and motivated me to do the same for my upcoming birthday. I began to search Pinterest and Google for ideas. I started to make a list of all the things I wanted to do. I tried to be unique and do different things every day. However, towards the end, I struggled a bit trying to be unique. So I did things that I felt impressed to do in the moment like, give a couple of people gift cards to the grocery store. The last month has been totally wonderful. I found myself constantly thinking about being kind to people and presenting myself in a much more deliberate manner. I also mixed it up and gave gifts to people I knew as well as the people I had never met before. I also adopted a U.S. soldier. When you sign up they send you the name and address of someone to support that is deployed. You can write letters and emails and send care packages. If you are interested in adopting a soldier you can go to th...

Sorry, I haven't written in a while. I've probably started a few different posts, but never finished them for one reason or another. Then, summer happened and well, they are called the "lazy days of summer" for a reason.  Recently, I was accepted into Steven University's Adult Undergraduate program. It is also known as School of Graduate and Professional Studies (GPS). GPS is the most common moniker. Since I decided to apply and become a student at SU, I have been somewhat fascinated with the acronym. When I hear GPS, I automatically think of the device that directs you from point A to point B. Then I thought how appropriate it is for the School of Graduate and Professional Studies to be called GPS. I, like so many adult learners, probably did not know what to do with their life at 18. I didn't have a career in mind when I left high school nor did I think it would take me this long to figure it out. I was carefree and I thought that my life and career would ...

I have been in the Interpreting program what seems like FOREVER! When I began this journey into this field, I had absolutely no idea how hard it was going to be or how much I would question myself and my ability to do it. I am nearing the end of the program and I am hoping to graduate by next June, but the pressure keeps mounting and all I see are my insecurities about this profession. It's true I left everything from my small home town to my family and friends to pursue my ultimate career and passion. I have had many ups and downs and have questioned on many occasions, "Why in the world am I doing this?" However, facing all of my doubts, I kept going. I am sure I have have said in a previous post that I never considered myself "college material." I work hard, but it is hard for me to leave a class at the end of the semester with an A in the class. I did well in high school because I found a way to manipulate the system to make it easy for me. I relied heavily...

My mind is flooded with memories. Memories of a different time, a different life. It seems almost like yesterday that I saw you, hugged you, spent time with you. Then I remember it is a memory and it is but a moment in time. You can't waste your life and the time that is given to you because it is only for a moment and it can be taken away just as quickly as when it were given to you. Tomorrow marks the second anniversary that my family lost another young life. It is true that in my family one does not need to be an octagenarian to leave this world. We have lost too many people we hold so dear to our hearts. They say, "Time heals all wounds." I don't know if that is really true. For me, the pain of losing someone is just as real today as it was two tears ago when Chris died, just as real in 1992 when my cousin Joey died, when my niece died in 1988, and my list could go on. I think "time" forces you to move forward. You have to keep going. There is no pause...

Have you ever read an article in a newspaper and it made you so mad that you start complaining about how it's wrong or the fact that nothing is being done about the situation? That is kind of how I feel. I will read an article online, then scroll down to the comments to see what everyone is saying. It is irritating that everyone can offer their "2 cents" but are pretty unwilling to do anything about the situation that it upsetting to them. What is worse is when you read a comment that says that all hope is lost. I refuse to believe that. Recently, my hometown has experienced some very unfortunate situations. Things that are not all that common in the small waterfront community. When something happens, word is spread like wildfire and everyone knows before the sun has fully risen. Everyone has something to say about it, myself included. Before you know it, you are consumed with opinions. I think every person on this planet has the power and capability to make a differ...

During the week of August 6-10, I had the opportunity to do my very first interpreting job. I received an email from my mentor interpreter about accompanying a nine year old girl to summer camp. It seemed that the church that was going to camp was in need of another interpreter and she emailed me about a week before we were supposed to leave and asked if I could go. I was indeed excited that I was even asked to be an interpreter considering that I am still a student and I am still learning how to be an interpreter. When I read the email and realized it was during the week, my initial reaction was, "Oh no, I can't go - I have to work!" I texted my mom and a good friend of mine about the email I got, and my friend encouraged me to ask my boss if I could take my vacation early (I am not eligible until Oct for vacation). I was a bit nervous about this because how many companies would actually allow an employee take vacation early? I worked up enough courage to ask and surpris...

I have been going to college (while working full time) since 2007, studying American Sign Language (ASL) in hopes of one day to become an interpreter. When I decided to go to college, move away from friends and family, and study this beautiful language, I had NO IDEA how tough it was really going to be. I don't know how other adults(30+) with families and children manage work, school, homework, soccer games, date nightes with the spouses, etc do it. I am a single girl living on my own. I have work and I have school. It really should not be this complicated. However, it is complicated and I have to deal with it all including not meeting my own expectations. I just finished my finals for the Spring 2012 semester and I thought that I did all of them well. Thanks to technology, I don't have to wait too long to get my results. Well, as unfortunate as it is, I did not do so well on one very important class; a class that I needed to get a B in to move to the next round of classes. R...

So, it has been a year since my nephew, Chris, was killed in a car accident. It has been the fastest and yet slowest year of my life. There are days where my brain tells me that it didn't happen and that it is just a dream. Yet, even in denial I know it happened. My 25 year old nephew is gone... I think I have experienced this year much differently than most who have been going through the grieving process. Most of the year has been emotionless. I have been in denial and I have often felt that I was on the outside looking in. Every single time that I pass exit 19 on 695 I remember when I pulled over so my mom could tell me that he was gone. I sat there in the middle of rush hour traffic wondering what I should do. The 300 miles that separated me and my family might as well have been a million. At that moment I wish I had a Mr. Gadget helicopter hat so I could fly over it all and land in Crisfield. Obviously, it wasn't that simple and it probably was the longest three hours of...

So, I just finished watching this movie called Courageous. It is about a man who is a father and a police officer. Adam worked hard and wad good at his job but when it came to his family he was good enough - not really taking time to spend with his son,15, and his daughter, 9. Until one day, his daughter was killed by a drunk driver when she was in a car with her friend during a sleepover. Adam realized just how mediocre he really is as a parent. From that moment on Adam began to search God and the Bible on how to be a better dad to his son. Anyone can be a dad, but it takes courage to be a father. This movie struck me in many different ways. It really is a movie to be seen by families and more importantly, fathers. I am not a man nor am I a parent, but a phrase in that movie really struck me. I haven't cried in about 10 months, but this movie made me cry. I know what it is like to lose someone tragically and suddenly. You have these feelings that you can't e...

I am not a fan of New Year's. I don't see the point in it. The only thing that I enjoyed is flipping to Dick Clark's Rockin' Eve and he retired. I also don't get the resolutions. Why is it that people make all of these resolutions and no one EVER follows through? I don't think I've ever made one because I know that I'll procrastinate and never do it. People make resolutions only around this time of the year. I really don't get it. What about the OTHER 364 days? Each and every day that we wake up is a chance to begin again. Why wait until New Year's to say, "I will do this," or "This year I am not going to do this." If you mess up, it is not the end of the world. You don't have to wait next year or next month or even next week to change something about yourself. You have the power to change now. Hal Borland said Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can ...

WOW! The last few months have been a blur. Thus, my reason for not writing. I simply haven't had the time. So just to catch you up: In September, I started the Fall 2011 semester, moved to a new apartment (same building just different floor), got a new job,  and went to a wedding. In October, I was working my new job and helping out my old job because it was busy and I didn't want to leave them stranded (yeah, i know I am too nice - but that's me), all while trying to handle three classes. In November, aside from school, work, and Thanksgiving I decided that my life needed more action so I got into a little accident. Yep, I'm brilliant, what can I say? LOL So needless to say I haven't had much time for writing. Since, the year is almost through, I began reflecting on 2011. I must say this has been a tough year. I can't say it has been a good year, there have been moments that have been good, but nothing spectacular. My family lost someone special back in Mar...

It was the longest drive home tonight. This semester has been the toughest in my academic career. It's weird though. Even with the death of my nephew and as hard as that has been, this semester,academically, has been twice as hard. If that is possible. Last semester, I was on top of my game. I had straight A's, made the Dean's List, and had an article published. This one, I am struggling and I feel like I am barely keeping my head above water. I will be happy to just pass these classes. Sometimes we question ourselves. We wonder if what we are doing is the right thing. When we make a decision in our lives that decision can have a lasting effect on us. I have no doubt that I should be here going to school. However, I didn't anticipate being here for four years. I didn't anticipate it being this hard. And I certainly didn't anticipate how I would feel in the process. The title of my blog is called, The Journey. It's not about the destination, but the journ...